Many kids struggle to learn the multiplication tables. The adults around them know what the multiplication facts are and what the student is up against. It may be a difficult job for the student to become more fluent with the math facts, but knowledge about the scope of the challenge helps.
With phonics, the situation is very different. Few adults know what phonics patterns are or what was presented in school in K-2. They don’t know how many steps their young person needs to take in order to master phonics and decode like their peers.
When older children struggle with phonics and reading, they feel confused and anxious. The adults in their life feel the same way.
Learning about the Science of Reading, and how sequential phonics are best taught, helps.